How to Help Your Child Navigate Anxiety Without Reinforcing It

Anxiety isn’t always obvious. It shows up in bedtime rituals, clinginess, endless “what if” questions. It can also hide in perfectionism, stomach aches, or the refusal to try something new.

As a parent, it’s natural to want to protect. But sometimes the strategies we use to soothe anxiety—reassuring, avoiding, over-accommodating—can keep it alive.

At Sunburst Psychology, we support children and parents in Bellevue, Kirkland, and Redmond to interrupt these cycles and build long-term emotional resilience.

What Reinforcing Anxiety Looks Like (Without Realizing It)

• Letting your child skip events or activities due to fear

• Reassuring them repeatedly: “You’ll be fine, I promise”

• Avoiding difficult topics or conversations to prevent meltdowns

• Answering the same question over and over to calm worry

• Adjusting family routines around triggers

These responses are understandable. They work in the short term. But anxiety learns fast—and it grows stronger when it sees avoidance rewarded.

How to Help Instead

1. Validate the Feeling, Not the Fear
Say, “It makes sense that this feels scary.” You’re showing empathy without agreeing that the situation is dangerous.

2. Hold the Line With Warmth
Instead of removing the challenge, walk with them through it. “I know it’s hard, and I also know you can do this.”

3. Set Gentle Expectations
Small, consistent exposures build confidence. Start with manageable steps. Avoiding the hard thing completely sends the message that they can’t handle it.

4. Model Your Own Coping
Kids learn from how you regulate your nervous system. Take deep breaths. Talk about your own challenges—and what helps you face them.

How Therapy Helps

Anxiety thrives in isolation. Therapy offers kids a place to name their fears, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and experiment with new ways to respond.

At Sunburst Psychology, our approach is both practical and relational. We use evidence-based tools (like CBT and exposure work), integrated with deep emotional support. Our goal isn’t just symptom relief—it’s helping kids develop a stronger sense of agency and self-trust.

We also work closely with parents to build alignment at home—so the therapy room and the living room reinforce each other.

Serving Families in Bellevue, Kirkland, and Redmond

We work with:

• Children who worry constantly, even when life seems fine

• Kids with school avoidance, social anxiety, or performance pressure

• Families adjusting routines around a child’s anxiety

• Parents who want guidance without shame