Therapy for People Who Hate Talking About Their Feelings (But Really Need To)

Aug 10

“I Don’t Do Feelings.” Okay… But How’s That Working for You?

You’re great at staying calm.
You don’t fall apart.
You keep things “in perspective.”
You joke about your stress, or distract from it, or bury it in sarcasm and work.

And everyone thinks you’re fine.

Except, quietly, you’re… not.

You feel distant from people you care about
You’re exhausted, but can't explain why
You don’t know how to ask for support without cringing
You either shut down or erupt, and both feel awful
You’re starting to wonder if not feeling is costing you something

Spoiler: it is.

Not Talking About Your Feelings Is a Coping Strategy—Not a Personality Trait

If you grew up in a home where emotions weren’t welcome—or worse, were punished—you probably learned that staying quiet = staying safe.

Or maybe you were praised for being “low maintenance,” “mature,” “independent.”
(Translation: you learned early that your needs were a problem.)

Now, as an adult?

Vulnerability feels like danger
Emotional conversations feel like a trap
You feel weirdly numb all the time—or way too much, all at once
You use logic to explain everything so you don’t have to feel anything

You’re not broken.
You’re emotionally underfed. And yeah, it’s catching up to you.

You Don’t Need to Cry in Therapy to Get Something Out of It

At Sunburst Psychology, we work with smart, emotionally avoidant, high-achieving humans in Seattle and Bellevuewho don’t want to be “processed”—they want to feel like themselves again.

You won’t find us saying “And how did that make you feel?” on repeat.
We’re not here to poke your pain and wait for tears.
We’re here to help you feel safe enough to even look at your emotional world.

What therapy with us looks like:

Unpacking emotional blocks at your pace
Learning to identify emotions without judgment
Exploring what silence is protecting you from
Building trust with your own inner world
Naming and expressing things that have been buried for years

No pressure. No performance. No fake-crying required.

Signs You Might Be Emotionally Avoidant (With Great Hair)

You make jokes when things get too real
You only talk about feelings when they’ve already passed
You feel more comfortable in “fixer” mode than “feeling” mode
You struggle with intimacy, even if you crave it
You feel like your emotions are either muted… or way too loud

This doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you were smart enough to adapt—but now you’re ready to actually live instead of just managing yourself.

A Few Tips While You Work on This (Or While You Pretend You’re “Thinking About Therapy”)

1. Start by noticing.

Feelings don’t have to be expressed right away. Start by identifying them without judging or fixing them. Just name it.

2. Use metaphor if direct emotion feels too vulnerable.

You can say “it feels like everything’s buzzing” instead of “I’m anxious.” Whatever gets the truth out.

3. Talk about not talking.

You can literally say, “This is hard for me to talk about.” That counts as vulnerability.

4. Your silence protected you—but it’s also isolating you.

You get to choose something new. You don’t have to be loud. Just real.

Looking for therapy in Seattle or Bellevue that won’t force you to overshare or “open up” before you’re ready?
We get it. This isn’t about dramatics. It’s about finally having space to feel safe being yourself.
Schedule a consultation with Sunburst Psychology.
You don’t have to be fluent in feelings to start. Just bring your honesty—we’ll meet you there.

Start Here