When Humor Is a Shield: Therapy for People Who Joke Through Pain
You’re Funny. Quick. Charming.
And also maybe a little bit falling apart inside.
You use humor like a scalpel—sharp, strategic, perfectly timed.
You’re the one people want at dinner parties. The comic relief in group chats. The friend who always lightens the mood.
But underneath the one-liners?
You feel disconnected
You struggle to be serious, even when things matter
You get uncomfortable when others get too emotional
You downplay your own pain so no one has to “worry”
You’ve made your pain palatable—and now you’re not sure how to stop
Humor is your superpower. But sometimes?
It’s also your hiding place.
What Hiding Behind Humor Actually Looks Like
Making a joke right before you start crying
Turning every vulnerable moment into a bit
Being “the funny one” because it feels safer than being seen
Constantly helping others laugh—because you don’t know how to sit with their sadness
Struggling to feel close to others, even if you’re surrounded by people
You’re not fake. You’re protected.
You’re not heartless. You’re scared.
And honestly? You’re tired.
Why Humor Feels Safer Than Honesty
A lot of people who weaponize wit learned early that:
Being funny = being liked
Being vulnerable = being dismissed
Joking defused tension at home
Crying got you in trouble (or nowhere)
Attention only came when you were entertaining
And now as an adult?
You’ve built a whole identity around being the person who keeps things light—because no one ever taught you how to sit with the dark.
Therapy Helps You Be Both: Funny and Fully Human
At Sunburst Psychology, we work with smart, witty, emotionally avoidant adults in Seattle, Bellevue, and surrounding areas who want to stop hiding behind their humor without losing themselves in the process.
We don’t shame your coping. We get it.
In therapy, we help you:
Identify when humor is serving you—and when it’s sabotaging connection
Explore what it would feel like to be taken seriously
Learn how to express emotions without needing a punchline
Sit with grief, anger, fear, or tenderness without scrambling for a joke
Build trust that you’re lovable even when you’re not entertaining anyone
You don’t have to stop being funny.
You just deserve to know who you are when the joke ends.
Tips for the Funny One Who’s Feeling… Everything
1. Notice your timing.
Do you joke when you’re uncomfortable? That’s not bad. It’s just… worth noticing.
2. Let silence happen.
You don’t have to fill every pause. Let the moment breathe before you put a laugh in it.
3. Try telling the truth without a twist.
Say “That hurt” instead of “Well, that’s a fun emotional wound for Tuesday!”
4. Ask yourself: What would happen if I didn’t make this funny?
Would people leave? Would it be awkward? Would it be… honest?
5. Remember: humor is a gift. But it’s not a mask you have to wear 24/7.
You’re allowed to be more than your best material.
You’re Allowed to Feel—Even if You’re Really, Really Funny
Humor isn’t the enemy. But when it becomes the only way you relate, you lose access to something deeper.
Connection. Healing. Intimacy. Relief.
You don’t have to give up your wit to be whole.
You just have to be willing to stop hiding behind it.
Looking for therapy in Seattle or Bellevue for emotionally avoidant comedians, closet feelers, and inner children with sharp tongues?
We’re here. And we’ve heard every joke.
Schedule a consultation with Sunburst Psychology.
You can laugh. You can cry. You can finally feel like yourself—even when you’re not “on.”
