When Kids Say “I’m Fine” (and Other Phrases Parents Shouldn’t Ignore)
By Dr. Daisy Ma
Kids don’t always come right out and say what’s wrong. Instead, their words can act as clues to what they’re feeling inside. Some phrases may seem small or routine, but when repeated, they can signal deeper struggles with stress, anxiety, or self-esteem.
As a parent, it can feel confusing or even discouraging when your child brushes you off or puts themselves down. You’re not alone—many parents wrestle with knowing when to step in and how to respond in a way that truly helps. For families in Seattle and Bellevue, working with a skilled child psychologist or teen therapist can provide guidance and support when these phrases become a pattern.
“I’m Fine” – What It Can Mean and How to Respond
This classic phrase often hides the opposite. Children may say it when they feel overwhelmed but don’t yet feel safe enough to share. Watch for signs like tense posture, flat or irritable tone, or if the phrase shows up after tough moments (like school transitions or conflicts with friends).
The best way to respond? Gentle curiosity. Try: “I heard you say you were fine earlier, but I noticed your shoulders looked tight. If you’d like to talk, I’m here to listen.”
This approach invites conversation without pressure and helps kids feel seen and safe. It’s also a strategy therapists often use in child and teen counseling to encourage openness and trust.
“I’m Dumb” or “I’m Not Good at Anything” – Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Occasional negative self-talk is normal, but frequent repetition can reflect deeper self-esteem issues, perfectionism, or even anxiety. These comments deserve attention.
Just like with “I’m fine,” the goal isn’t to fix everything immediately—it’s to validate feelings and create space for your child to share more. A child therapist in Seattle or Bellevue can help children reframe these thoughts, while also teaching skills to manage the perfectionism or worry driving them.
What Parents Can Do at Home
Notice patterns – Not just the words, but tone, timing, and body language.
Respond with patience and presence – Avoid judgment or rushing to solutions.
Offer invitations to talk – A calm, open-ended invitation encourages sharing.
Seek professional support – If these phrases persist, consider consulting a child psychologist in Seattle or a teen therapist in Bellevue. Early support can make a lasting difference.
How Sunburst Psychology Helps Families
Children’s words are often coded messages. By slowing down, listening between the lines, and responding with empathy, parents can create the safety kids need to open up about what they can’t always say directly.
At Sunburst Psychology, our expert child and teen psychologists specialize in helping young people in Seattle and Bellevue build resilience, regulate emotions, and develop healthier self-esteem. We work collaboratively with parents to ensure families feel supported at every step—addressing immediate concerns while fostering long-term growth.
If your child’s words leave you worried, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy can help uncover what’s really going on and provide your child with the tools to thrive.
